As-tested price: $64,540
Drivetrain: 6.2-liter V8; 4wd, six-speed automatic
Output: 393 hp @ 5700 rpm, 415 lb-ft @ 5700 rpm
Curb weight: 6614 lb
Options: Luxury Package, including chrome appearance package with chrome aluminum hood handles, chrome aluminum hood latches, bright doorsill plates, carpeted floor mats, third-row seat, 17-inch polished-aluminum wheels, rear-vision system, rear-seat entertainment system, power sunroof ($6,410); AM/FM stereo with MP3-compatible CD/DVD player, Radio Data System with auxiliary input jack, DVD-based navigation ($1,720)
OUR TAKE: As big bad muthas go–and this has to qualify as one of the biggest, baddest muthas on the road today–the H2 is a highly civilized vehicle. The drive quality is surprisingly smooth and steady, making this big hunk of truck easier to drive than its appearance might suggest. Inside, the story is more of the same, with comfortable heated, leather power seats, a strong audio system, navigation and rear-view camera and nice fit and finish throughout.
Two design problems: The rounded chrome running boards are an invitation to disaster–if you or your passengers don’t make a point of stepping on the square tread part you’ll be lying on the ground quicker than you can text message “wtf?”; and the backup camera is mounted inboard and below the spare tire, making it appear your bumper still has plenty of clearance from an obstacle long after the spare tire has made solid contact.
People who buy these Hummers obviously are looking to make a statement that puts them somewhere on the unfashionable scale beyond Range Rovers and Escalades–and that’s okay by us; drive what you want, we say.
However, if you want to make a statement, the H2 remains a good vehicle of choice. We found an old article online about Hummers, with the author calling them an “FUV,” as in F@#$ yoU Vehicle. Fitting, we suppose. It will go just about anywhere, uses up fuel at a prodigious rate, and is big and boastful. Typically All-American.
